Rodney Mullins Online
Bringing a Spirit of Excellence to the Body of Christ

Jan
08

I believe that today’s modern church may be creating idols in the church without even realizing it. The bible teaches us that even while Moses was in the presence of a burning bush and getting a word from the Lord that the people were building idols. An idol in any shape or form must not be allowed to be worshiped in the church.

What do I mean by Idol?

Definition: Any person or thing regarded with blind admiration, adoration, or devotion:

Please consider the following and ask yourself could this be an Idol in the church experience.

 

  1. Programs – Many churches have kept programs going for many years that have long lived out their effectiveness and productivity. It seems that they may even be the golden calf that is untouchable. Even if the budget and vision no longer supports the golden calf it is allowed to continue for years swallowing up precious resources that could be better used in a mission to reach the community. Could programs be an IDOL?
  2. Leaders – In today’s church we hear of entire churches of mega size dropping in its effectiveness or even closing when the leader steps down or is forced to resign. The entire church is based upon the personality or gifts of the leader. We have a tendency to demand that that one leader be the best of the best and it seems to become a form of pastor/leader worship. Could leaders become and IDOL?
  3. Worship – When a church creates an environment that the music carries more weight than discipleship and the word then have we created worship worship? When music dominates a service and there is very little emphasis placed on the value of being confronted by the message have we cheapened the validity of the scriptures in worship? I have read a lot about church services that do not produce change and I wonder if it is because the draw of worship and the higher value placed on music over the word has stunted personal growth. Could worship be an IDOL?
  4. Style – I have seen a lot of discussion about style in the church lately and the conversation seems to be carnal at best. When the value of wearing the right style is more important than the whole armor of God then we are in trouble. Churches should be a place where everyone fits in. It should be a place where what you wear is not as important as the heart you have for God. Does skinny jeans and converse shoes make a worshiper cool? Does a suit make a worshiper holy? Can style become and IDOL?

I believe that God wants his people to worship him in Spirit and in truth. This to me is the most profound way to enter the presence of God and become a disciple. Very simply put if our church experience does not involve worship and word, praise and discipleship, fellowship and ministry, then we are missing the power of our gatherings. To break down the idols in church we must always exalt God above anything and everything else. We must have worship that is more about Him than us. We must have a confronting and challenging word that produces change in our lives. We must walk away with a desire to deny ourselves and take up a cross and follow Christ. All though this is not an exhaustive list it is the things on my heart.

Hey folks, Worship is about Him, it’s all about Him.

Aug
12

The dark pain of depression

Several years ago I found myself in the darkest season of my life. It seemed that my entire world was in a deep dark hole and I was struggling to breath. It began very quickly and it began at full throttle. There was no time to adjust or evaluate… It was just there.
As a Christian I thought that it would not be possible for me to ever fall into depression but I did. I felt unspiritual, I felt unholy, and I felt like a failure, I felt unworthy, I wanted to die.
I wanted to die every night and was thankful I didn’t every morning. The depth of the pain was unimaginable. The feeling of being alone and the dark cloud that never left me had me struggling for answers. I read every book I could find, I read through the bible, I prayed most of the day, I cried from a place that should never be known and I ask God to take my life.
For over two years I visited hell in my mind. For over two years I begged for a light in my darkness, for over two years I planned my funeral as a way of escape from the pain. Even as I am writing this the pain revisits my mind and my heart breaks for those that suffer from depression.
Yesterday I read of Robin Williams’s suicide and I wept. I wept because he felt that it was his only way of escaping the pain. I weep because thousands more attempt to find peace and rest of mind in the same way.
Here is in brief my story….
With a heart for God and a vision to change lives for the better I began a new adventure in a small City in Ohio. Within one week of this journey the real journey for me began. I woke up one morning with an unbelievable heaviness in my mind. It seemed that a dark cloud was positioned over my spirit and I could not shake it. All day and night I was in an unfamiliar place and it had no exit sign.
The pain of that darkness went into a deep fear and anxiety in just a few days. I experienced attacks of panic at least once a day some days it was several times. I felt the symptoms of death but not its relief. Anxiety filled my mind and invaded my spirit. After several months of this darkness I collapsed. After being taken to the ER I heard a word that I never associated with until that moment “Depression”. I denied it, I fought it, I rebuked it, I prayed over it, I fasted about it, I even got council with it but it would not go away. It was perhaps the enemy that would take me out. To top it off I was a pastor of a small struggling church and it had many problems of its own that I had to deal with.
After two years of pain I decided I was finished. I was finished with it all.
I found myself in the basement of my home crying out to God in a way that would have shocked most Christians. I ask him the hard questions. Why have you forsaken me in my time of need? Why have you refused to lift this pain from me? Where is the light? And finally the really big one, Are you even real?

That night God spoke to me for the first time in over two years. He gave me a reason to move on and fight for my life. God spoke to my spirit and said, “I am allowing you to go through this to make you the person I need you to be” – These words took me back to the prayer I prayed when I ask God to make me the pastor that would be pleasing to him. WOW, did he answer…
No, God did not put depression on me. No, he did not make me feel the pain and darkness of fear and depression. What he did do was teach me how to overcome depression so that in my victory I could help many others.
I was serving religion and not God. I was worshipping a set of rules and not having a relationship with Jesus. I needed a change. Because of my wrong thinking about ministry and my life I was living a lie.
My life was one of high pressure to please others and wild expectations to prove critics wrong. I had so much pressure on myself that I was miserable. Performance became my identity and I was masterful at it. I had no clue who I was but I became what others expected. This thinking was the real reason I found myself deeply depressed. Being a people pleaser is very dangerous because people are fickle and change their expectations with the wind.
I began to learn that depression would set in at my very first thought of the day. I learned that my thought life was killing me. I learned that if I was going to be free I would have to change my thoughts from the first thought to the last of every day.
This was a very hard thing to do. I had to change habits and how I processed ideas. I had to rethink everything in light of this revelation. I began the very next morning by taking my thoughts into captivity. I began my day with the words, “This is the day that the Lord hath made and I will rejoice and be glad in it” – I soon found that it was easier said than done. I had to fight for the right thought life.
I adopted Romans 12:1,2 as my lifeline to a new thought life. I had to learn to adjust my thinking to God’s word. I had to become what God said I was and not what others expected me to be. I could not be conformed to wrong thinking but I had to be transformed by a daily renewal of my mind.
Day by day, minute by minute, second by second I began to change. Within three months I had renewed my thought life. I had started a journey with new joy. I had reclaimed my life and walk with God.
I was free…
This was not easy and I still have to guard my mind. I still have to live by my convictions to please God and refuse to surrender to pleasing man. I still have to start my day rejoicing and being glad but I am indeed free.
You may think that you will never be free. You may think as Robin did that the only way out is to die but I will tell you, I will scream it out, There is a way, Don’t give up. God loves you and cares deeply where you are right now. He wants freedom for you.
Please take my words and find peace. I love you all and I am praying for you.

Sep
30

She got to go home first…

On September 30 1961 I was born and three minutes later my twin sister was born. She was much larger than I was and “she got to home first” from the hospital. I had to stay in the hospital much longer due to my small size, Robin was often teased that she took all the food in the womb and that was why I was smaller. As we grew older as girls often do she matured and grew faster than I did. There were times at Cedar point amusement park that she would be permitted to go on rides that I could not go on because she was a foot taller than me. Eventually I caught up and even passed her up but it took a long time. She got married first and her baby first, for some reason she was always first.
Years later Robin began to deal with some very difficult physical issues and after lots of test and near death emergencies she was diagnosed with Addison’s disease that left her with a continual weakness in her body but never her faith. Time after time she was rushed to the hospital as she would fight to live with a disease that we had never heard of until it hit our family.
While dealing with this very difficult disease Robin had a crash episode that almost took her life called diabetes. Now she was not only fighting one possible fatal disease but two. None of this made sense to me or seemed fair at all. As her precious daughters and awesome husband walked with her through this journey we could see the horrific effect it was having on all of them and all of us.

Not long after we celebrated our 44th birthday she called me and ask me to come to New York to visit her. I will remember the day forever when her husband, Robin and I sat a park and she told me she had cancer. I along with everyone else was devastated. Addison’s, Diabetes and now cancer. We soon learned the cancer had spread and was terminal. What a long and very difficult four years she had, the discomfort soon turned into pain and then broken bones. She went from a vibrant young women to needing help across the room.
The most amazing thing about this journey was her faith and faithfulness. She had faith that God would remove the cancer and trusted him even when he didn’t. She was faithful to God and his word until the very end.
At age 48 on February 6th 2010 my sister lost her fight against cancer. Within moments of her passing she whispered to me and others her love. As I said at her funeral some teach you how to live but my twin taught me how to both live and die.
Today as I face another birthday without her I am forced to unpack that pain again and have those deep emotions rush my mind an amazing thought came to me that has brought new comfort, are you ready for this reality?
Just like in the hospital 52 years ago, Robin went home first, I am refreshed to realize she did it again.

Mar
07

A Pastor ministers by Strengthening the weak, chiefly by empowering them to solve their own problems by looking to the Lord first and also opening their hearts to others in the Body of Christ; not fostering an unhealthy dependence on them. Ephesians 4:12 and 13 (NRSV)
(12) to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ,
(13) until all of us come to the unity of th…e faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ.

Far too many Christians look to spiritual leaders for all the answers and never grow up in the things of the Lord. Healthy leaders will lead in a way that people will need them less and less and depend more and more on God. The lost world is in need of mature believers to do the work of the ministry.
The American church struggles with what seems to be an unhealthy codependency between the pulpit and the pew. The pew needs a tangible god and the leader has a god complex. We must reject the feeling that we as leaders are saviors and people must never allow themselves to need a human being to meet their complex needs.
We have far too many ministers leaving the ministry because the high expectations placed on them. We have far too many Christians never coming to full maturity in Christ because they have never been forced to go to Christ and strengthen that relationship. Our American view of “The Pastor” fosters this major problem. Some of those expectations are listed below in what a pastor is not.
• They are not substitute parents
• They are not shrinks
• They are not janitors, plumbers, or construction workers
• They are not crisis managers
• They are not perfect problem-solvers
• They are not corporate executives
• They do not have wireless access to the Holy Spirit concerning your problems
• They are not responsible for your sin
• They are not constructed for long-term bashing
• They are not required to shoulder repeated harsh criticisms
• They are not celebrities
• They have families with real problems too
• They are not always available and tireless
• They are not God in human form
• They can burn out
• They are not perfect
• They are not Christ
Some of the expectations of the American pastor.
1. administrator, facilitator, C.E.O.
2. teacher, educator
3. preacher, pulpiteer
4. Biblical scholar, theologian
5. counsellor, negotiator
6. promoter, planner, programmer
7. politician, diplomat
8. communicator, orator, inspirational speaker
9. entertainer, motivational speaker
10. worship leader, liturgist
11. evangelist
12. moralist
13. activist
14. community leader
15. social worker (transients, homeless, rescue mission)
16. weddings, funerals, hospital visitation
and the list goes on and on….

The American pastor has very little chance of survival for long term if things don’t change. Consider the following…

Fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout or contention in their churches.

Four thousand new churches begin each year, but over seven thousand churches close.

Fifty percent of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce.

Eighty percent of pastors and eighty-four percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastors.

Fifty percent of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.

Eighty percent of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years. Ninety percent of pastors said their seminary or Bible school training did only a fair to poor job preparing them for ministry.

Eighty-five percent of pastors said their greatest problem is they are sick and tired of dealing with problem people, such as disgruntled elders, deacons, worship leaders, worship teams, board members, and associate pastors. Ninety percent said the hardest thing about ministry is dealing with uncooperative people.

Seventy percent of pastors feel grossly underpaid.

Ninety percent said the ministry was completely different than what they thought it would be before they entered the ministry.

Seventy percent felt God called them to pastoral ministry before their ministry began, but after three years of ministry, only fifty percent still felt called.

Pastors’ Wives:

Eighty percent of pastors’ spouses feel their spouse is overworked.

Eighty percent of pastor’ wives feel left out and unappreciated by the church members.

Eighty percent of pastors’ spouses wish their spouse would choose another profession.

Eighty percent of pastors’ wives feel pressured to do things and be something in the church that they are really not.

The majority of pastor’s wives surveyed said that the most destructive event that has occurred in their marriage and family was the day they entered the ministry.

Pastors’ Marriages:

Seventy percent of pastors constantly fight depression.

Almost forty percent polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry.

Pastors’ Children:

Eighty percent of adult children of pastors surveyed have had to seek professional help for depression.

Pastors’ Relationship With the Lord:

Seventy percent of pastors do not have a close friend, confidant, or mentor.

Ninety-five percent of pastors do not regularly pray with their spouses.

Eighty percent of pastors surveyed spend less than fifteen minutes a day in prayer.

Seventy percent said the only time they spend studying the Word is when they are preparing their sermons.

The most dangerous thing that happens is when exhausted pastors teach, preach, lead and minister out of emptiness. In my humble but experienced opinion a pastor should seek to raise up the body of Christ and equip them to do the ministry. Very simply put, Body ministry is far more biblical and effective than the superman expectations America has placed on pastors. Needless to say there are lazy pastors that think all they are called to do is preach a great sermon but that is the exception to the rule.

Dec
07

A Family Christmas –  When I was a child I lived in a struggling City with a continual economic downturn. Christmas to us was more about family and fellowship than it was about gifts or parties. We were a simple family with lots of love and spirituality.

 I remember the huge bulbs of color on the tree and my sister and I would sit for hours singing “Oh Christmas tree” and other favorites. We loved to string tinsel across the branches of the biggest tree that dad could find. One year we even had one that was silver and had a light that made it change colors. No matter what the tree looked like it always gave us such cheer. We would draw names and dad would give us money to go shopping at the five and dime on our way to see Santa. All the lights and fanfare of downtown Toledo fascinated us as we stood in line to sit on Ole Saint Nicks lap and tell him what we wanted that year.

One year was more special than any other in my lifetime. That was the year that changed my dad’s life forever. That was the year he discovered the true meaning of Christmas. Dad spent a lot of time in the local taverns in those days’s he would get drunk and play pool and fight. As a child I would remember crying because he scared me when he was drinking. He was our hero when sober and our villain when drunk.

One night just a few weeks before Christmas we got a knock on the door and when mom opened it she begin to cry. It was two police officers telling her that dad had been in a fight in the bar and was cut with a knife from one side of his neck to the other. At that moment we thought we would never see him alive again. Christmas suddenly had lost its cheer.

After arriving at the hospital mom found out that they had to use sheets from the bed to try to stop the bleeding. Dad was severe and in life threatening condition. The days that followed were very fearful for us all. We had prayed and ask God to touch dad and allow him to be home for Christmas.

 Just a few days before Christmas we got the news that dad would be home the next day and he would indeed be home for the big day. The joy that filled our hearts was overwhelming. It did not matter what was under the tree because dad would be home. He was alive, safe and was coming home.

The next day we waited for what seemed like ever to greet him at the door. Then he was home… he was not the same. He was frail and had a bandage around his neck to protect the many stitches. We were very careful not to hurt him as we greeted him and welcomed him home for the Holidays.

Sitting on one leg and my sister sitting on the other we told dad what we wanted for Christmas. With hope in our hearts we asked him to never drink again. We also ask him to allow Jesus to come into his heart. Tears filled his eyes as he told us he could not take us to see Santa that year but we assured him that our wish was more important than anything else. One moment we were asking for cars and trucks, dolls and doll houses and to see Santa. The next moment we were just thankful to have dad home safe.

What a joyful Christmas it was. You cannot imagine the joy to see him alive and home. Nothing else mattered but the fact that our family was all together for Christmas. The years have added some loss and deep sorrow to our family. Mom and Dad are much older and moving slower now and we have lost our baby sister to cancer. It is difficult with us living all over the Country and having our own kids and grandkids to get together at Christmas time. The memories of many wonderful seasons will have to fill our minds each year because we can never have those days back again. I often share this story around the Holidays to reflect on God’s grace in the lives of a simple family growing up in South Toledo. I hope it brings you some joy…

 By the way we did get our Christmas wish that year. Dad never drank again and he has served the Lord for over 40 years and still going strong today. Although we will all miss our little sister this year we know that we have the promise of a coming Christmas where one day all our wishes will come true. We will be together again as that simple little family from South Toledo.

 Merry Christmas

Nov
23

.Is it about relationships and frienships? Is it the weekend facebook place for networking? Is it about fun and parties? Or is it about celebration a passion for God and his presence making it about him and not us?
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Nov
23

On a personal note…. A few months ago I had a tumor removed from behind my ear and began the waiting process. Yesterday the doctor informed me that it was not cancer. Today I look at leadership with a new perspective and that is one of leading in and through adversity. I can see now that our greatest leadership is not forged during the good times but while facing our most difficult times. As I watch the leadership of our State Bishop as he faces his most difficult struggle with Kathy’s diagnosis of colon cancer. He has shown us that a true leader will lead in difficult times but will also be an example of priorities. Ministry has many demands on the family of the minister. We are constantly being asked to put our family on hold while we minister to the many needs of a growing congregation. I have always ask my church to understand that my family is always first in my priorities. Most have understood and supported that choice. As I watch the example of Bill Isaacs, I understand that I have made the right decision in family first. When it is all said and done and we lay our heads down at night our first ministry priority is to the one we are holding as we fall asleep. If we fail there then we are not fit for ministry anywhere else. God is looking for those that will lead in difficult times and I believe I will not fail if I follow those God has placed in my life as an example…… Thanks to our State pastor for his leadership in adverse times.
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Nov
23

A Note that my daughter in law sent me… Everyone should read and be thankful for the important things this year.

“This holiday season is going to be one that is hard for all of us I’m sure. I know for me I’m going to miss all the hustle and bustle. I’m a city girl now and I enjoy the rush of going to 3 different houses across the state of Ohio and sometimes to NY! I love being around all of our family at the holidays. I would always tell Chris how much I looked forward to visiting with the Smiths and the Mullins. THere was always a good laugh at Papaw Smith or Mamaw’s expense. LOL!! But this year things are going to be very different for us, and I’m learning to adjust. There are a lot of things very different down here, sometimes I think I need a passport to live down here! LOL Other times the change is nice and not really that different.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately what I’m thankful for and what I need to be more thankful for, and one of those things is Chris. Sometimes I think as a young married couple with small children the busyness of life gets us in a bit of a rut, and our kids sometimes drive us so crazy by the end of the day we only have enough strength to drag each other to bed, just to do it all again the next day. But there have been some things that have happened since we’ve been in GA that have made me think, and sometimes I just look at Chris and wonder where this wonderful man came from! He is so very wise and patient, not only with me but with the kids. He loves his family more than anything in the world and will protect it and preserve at all costs. He has taught me a lot about unconditional love, something I didn’t understand until he came into my life. And when I think about all of this, the root of where it all comes from, it is the godly home he was raised in, and the example of love he had his entire life. You 2 have begun a legacy of love in your family that will carry on, I believe, until the end. Eli already knows the importance of love and family and God which is traced back to you. I believe Eli and Micah will carry this on to their wives and children. What you both have taught Chris and I, has saved us from A LOT of hardships in our marriage. We have overcome many obstacles that most marriages would fall apart over, but I definitely believe through those hard times we have grown closer to each other and our faith in God as grown as well.

So this Thanksgiving I can’t be thankful for my husband without being thankful for you. Because he wouldn’t be the man he is today with out you both. Thank you for your love for each other and family. It has made a difference and we are truly blessed by you. Happy Thanksgiving! We love and miss you very much!! ”

Carrie Mullins

Feb
18


Last night I knelt to pray and ask God to heal you of cancer then I realized the battle was over and I wept. Today I picked up the phone like I did hundreds of times before to call and check on you and I realized the call would never go through and I wept again. The memories will be wonderful when they finally return to me but for now it is just pain and grief I feel.
I remember at the hospital wondering if I had done enough to care for you as a twin and a brother. I wondered as I watched you grow weaker and weaker if I had failed to let you know how important you were to me and how I loved talking and visiting with you. Then you called me to your side and whispered “I love you Rod” and those words gave me peace.
My greatest regret in this life is when I got the news that even as your twin I was not a match for your stem cell transplant. My heart broke that I would not be able to help you live. I still wonder about the difference I could have made if I only I was the one.
Today I ask God why I am the healthy twin and you suffered so much with multiple illnesses. You had so much more to give to this world and to your family. Your loss at 48 years old seems so unfair and I will wonder about Gods directions until I ask him face to face.
Sickness I have found can do one of two things in a person’s life. It can bring out the best or the worst in that person. Cancer brought out the very best in you. Your kind responses to the hospital staff and to your family, your sweet words of encouragement to others and you never ending faith in the God that you always praised no matter what.
Your legacy will live on in all of us. Your beautiful girls will carry the torch of kindness and care for others. They too will speak God’s word with boldness and love the unlovable. Your grand-kids will be told of your great love for them and their future. Your many prayers that have yet to be answered will live on in faith and for many years will do what they were sent to do.
Robin your life was not in vain, you touched us all and you will live through us. I was once asked how it felt to be a twin and I answered it is the only thing I knew. Today it is different, I am now without you, and the pain goes beyond belief. Often times I would feel your pain and hurts and stop whatever I was doing and pray for you. Today I long for those feelings again.
We all miss you deeply. You were a treasure in our lives and now a jewel only in our hearts. You were our little sister, my twin, Jayme and Summers mother, James beloved wife and lifetime partner, Carson’s grandmother, a daughter and a friend. So many places in so many hearts and now you are gone.
I promise to love the girls like they were my own. I will celebrate at the wedding and birth. I will tell your family stories of you over and over to keep you alive in their hearts. I promise to help James move on in his life without you. He loved you so very much and it will be tough for him the rest of his life without you. I promise to press on myself without my twin. The last few years I have grown so close to you and it was well worth the investment.
They say it gets easier with time and the grief will be replaced with wonderful memories and I hope that is true but for now I wait. I long to pick up the phone and ask you again how you are doing and pray with you.
Each one of us that was a part of your life will grieve in our own way. Each one will deal with the pain differently. Some will move on faster than others and some will need more prayer than others. Despite how we each deal with this process the truth will be no less. We each will miss you forever and wonder why you were taken from us so soon.
Today some things happened in my life that represents my future. I was excited to call and share them with you. Today I was reminded again that you would not be answering my call.
We had been planning a family reunion where we could all get together and spend some quality time but your passing broke up those plans. My greatest hopes is now that someday we will have the best reunion ever.
These emotions are difficult for me and I have never felt them this strong. They keep me up at night and cause tears to flow for no apparent reason. My heart breaks over and over again for this loss…. I guess this is what they call grief.
Bye, for now…
Rodney

Aug
30

My childhood giant

I remember as a young boy that I stood in wonder as I looked up to a man that seemed 7 foot tall. He worked hard with his hands and lived with the heart of a lion. His love for his family took him to two and sometimes three jobs to make sure food and fun was a regular part of their lives. He was in my eyes the strongest man in the world. There were no degrees on his wall and few people called him sir. His pay at times was small but his salary was the joy in knowing he was doing what he had to for his family.
Over the years I watched as this giant of a man was stricken down time and time again as his body failed him. His mind still filed with a dream of seeing his children at their best and led by the hope that he would see each of his children rise to their potential.
Over the years I have fought many battles and faced many struggles. My dreams at times felt like unreachable goals. My heart has been crushed by the wounds inflicted by those who could not see or hear it. When the struggles seems unbearable and doubt tempts me to see my weaknesses and not my strengths I remember that giant of a man with calloused hands that never stopped no matter the odds and I press on.
Some grow up on the right side of the tracts but we grew up on the wrong. Some had the resources to go where ever and when ever their resources could take them we had not much more than our dreams. Our conditions were difficult and many times it was way too hot in the summer and way too cold in the winter but our dreams kept us moving forward.
Today I still stand amazed at the struggles of little education and resources that my father was able to overcome. Did he give me an education? Did he give me resources? Did he place a silver spoon in my mouth? The truth is he gave me none of these things but what he gave me was so much more than any of that he gave the ability to persevere in tough times. Never in my childhood did I ride in a new car nor live in a new house but I grew up in a wonderful home. He kept it a secret, he never let us know how tough it was to provide for us, and he made it look so easy.
Way up in his seventies he is much slower now and he is weak and struggles to keep his balance. He sleeps more than ever and it is easy to see his struggles on his face.
As I sit here today thinking about my father I smile. I smile because I realize that he has given me more than money could ever buy. He gave me a drive to see my dream come to fruition. He gave me the hope that all things are possible. He gave me the perseverance to fight every battle till the end. With all this the greatest gift he gave me was a love for the hurting and a compassion for the less fortunate. I hurt when others hurt, I weep when others weep, I bend down to the broken, I bleed with the wounded and I pray for those that cannot or will not pray for themselves.
There has never been a moment in my life that I was not proud of my father. There was never one second that I didn’t appreciate the price he paid to provide for me the ability to be who I am. Once while I was presented a sermon to a small group of people I noticed him crying. Why was he crying? It was pride. Although he was proud of me it cannot compare to the pride that I have for him.
My greatest hope in life is that one day my son’s will see and know my heart. I pray that they will have a heart for the hurting and walk in a spirit of compassion. If they weep for those that are wounded and if they sacrifice for the needs of others then they have captured who and what I am.
The greatest shock in my youth was when I realized that my father was only 5’6 and had very small hands and feet. I wondered what happened to that giant I called dad. Today I realize he is still there because it wasn’t his height or his weight that made him a giant to me…. It was the size of his heart. Thanks Dad.
Rodney
Dad

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